On the other hand... We could really use your ideas for new cards, which we'd like to publish in expansions for our card game... If we choose your card idea, we'll send to you, absolutely FREE, the expansion pack that contains your card...
Here's how to write a good Ripkoff Investment card!!!...
How To Write a Ripkoff Investment Card
In General...
Each Investment card is a comedic satire of some entity -- a business, government or individual -- which is trying to get our money as an investment. That means it needs to be FUNNY! (But we think you'll know this by now already...)The Breakdown...
Each Investment card is broken into three parts: The Name, The Story and The Payoff...The Name is that of the business, government or individual trying to get money from us. We'll represent it with a logo, but we'd like some input on how that logo should look...
The Story is a bullet list that describes the Investment describing why the Investee needs money and so on. We're talking three to five lines here. And some sections here will be bolded to hint at the Risk Profile of the Investment (see below)...
The Payoff is three lines, again: FUNNY!...
- Failure: One describes what happens if the Investee player craps out... Something ridiculous... and yet... somehow true...
- Breakeven: The second line is the Breakeven line. Most of the time we just leave this as "Breakeven", but if there's a funny result you can think of that makes sense, please write it down here.
- Success!: What if the Investment succeeds?...
The Risk-Return Profile...
A given Investment card will have one of three possible Risk profiles -- Low, Medium and High -- and also one of three Return profiles -- also Low, Medium and High. That's nine possible profiles, running from Low Risk/Low Return ("LL") through to High Risk/High Return ("HH"). We need all types because the deck needs to be stacked with an even Risk/Return profile...Maybe copy-paste the Risk/Return profile of the card you're going to make...
Low Risk/Low Return Investments are boring ones... Things like mortgages and car loans to dependable borrowers. BORING!!!... Okay, so how do we make them interesting? We focus on describing the person or people seeking money. We write them as quirky characters. Occasionally a card will satire a specific individual. You get the idea.
Then there are government bonds, well established fossilized industries... and so on. Again: yawn. So try to make the story of this investment funny... somehow. (Please.)
LL Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: Two bolded sections which downplay risk
- Roll of 1: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 2: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 3-6: Success (x1½)
Low Risk/Medium Return Investments?... These would be established businesses seeking lines-of-credit, or loans to finance growth... That kind of thing. I think if you dig around you'll find some comedy potential here.
LM Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: Two bolded sections which downplay risk
- Roll of 1: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 2: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 3-6: Success (x3)
LH Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: Two bolded sections which downplay risk
- Roll of 1,2: Failure (Ruin!)
- Roll of 4-6: Success (x6)
ML Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: One bolded sectons which is risky; one that is not. (Consider also a single section that is both risky and stable.)
- Roll of 1,2: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 3: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 4-6: Success (x1½)
Medium Risk/Medium Return Investments. Credit card debt? Yeah, that might be MM. Then there are investments in somewhat "daring" business ventures. Some crazy new invention or service that, hey... might pay off.
MM Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: One bolded sectons which is risky; one that is not. (Consider also a single section that is both risky and stable.) Roll of 1,2: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 3: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 4-6: Success (x3)
Medium Risk/High Return Investments. More credit card debt?.. The kind that's pushing into the "semi-legal" interest rate level... Other than that, we need your BEST ideas!
MH Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: One bolded sectons which is risky; one that is not. (Consider also a single section that is both risky and stable.) Roll of 1,2: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 3: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 4-6: Success (x6)
High Risk/Low Return Investments. High Risk/Low Return? What is this shit? This is when you lend money to your crack-addict friend in the hopes he'll clean up his life... I mean, seriously...
HL Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: Two bolded sectons that are risky. Or maybe one large section that is really a disaster waiting to happen.
- Roll of 1-3: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 4: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 5,6: Success (x1½)
High Risk/Medium Return Investments. Well, I suppose resource industries. Like forestry... mining... or farming. Yep. Farming. That would fit in here. I mean, you're at the mercy of the elements... Yep... And then there's the commodity prices... Yep... Get's so's you can't make a living half the time...
HM Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: Two bolded sectons that are risky. Or maybe one large section that is hints that a real shit-storm is going on behind the scenes.
- Roll of 1-3: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 4: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 5,6: Success (x3)
HM Payoff Categories are as follows:
- In the Story: Two bolded sectons that are risky. Or maybe one large section that will keep you awake at night.
- Roll of 1-3: Failure (x½)
- Roll of 4: Breakeven (x1)
- Roll of 5,6: Success (x6)
Send Your Card...
Send this baby to: ripkoff@gmail.com... thanks.Due to the volume of applications, only qualified candidates will be responded to. Thank you for your patience.
